The “Socially Acceptable” Villain

The Socially Acceptable Vllian | I Am Rosa

Really good stories have more than one antagonist. There’s your “Big Bad” villain, but real life is filled with lots of “socially acceptable” villains that create drama, pain, and obstacles in your every day life.

What does that look like? Let me illustrate by using the example of a woman we’ll call “Jane” for ease of reference. Jane was sexually abused in her past; her sexual consent was stolen from her. As an adult, she has several boyfriends on the go at once (7 to be exact) and none of the relationships are sexual. The men know that they’re part of her “harem” and are all vying to be #1 boyfriend.

Some of these men have the notion that if he is Jane’s favourite, she will marry him and he would be the only man in her life from that point on. This is not the case. Jane has created a reality for herself where she is in complete control of these relationships. She is now “safe” and “loved”, under no obligation to have sex. Ever. If she marries, that reality will be lost.

Jane is what can be called a “socially acceptable villain”. In her effort to “win” situations from her past, Jane is now controlling people who had nothing to do with the harm done to her. She’s not a “big bad” villain, but the pain she causes is real.

You probably have a socially acceptable antagonist in  your life. These people can seem loving and loyal, but end up destroying your self-esteem in subtle ways. Take a look around and see if you can spot them. Maybe it’s the “friend” who says”I don’t know why X said you look fat in that outfit.” She hurt you, but she’s made X the target.

Is there room in your story for a socially acceptable antagonist?

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