We all have pain in our past that sometimes resurfaces to knock the wind out of our sails. Even if we think we’ve healed and moved on, the boogieman from the past can still catch us off-guard. This week marked the start of the 11th anniversary of a 5 week traumatic event that altered my life. Most years, I can get through it with just a passing nod to that event. This year, it’s gripped me in its claws and torn me open again.
I didn’t know why until I took a few minutes to really look at the memories and emotion that were gnawing on me. I realized that something new had surfaced and it needed dealing with. A new hurt that had been shuffled to the back of priority list, mostly because it was so much deeper than the mental and physical torture I endured. It was an emotional hurt – a betrayal by a loved one. And, it took 11 years for me to be ready – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – to face the eviscerating agony of knowing someone I loved and trusted put me in the situation that led to the horrifying events that nearly broke me.
Being able to acknowledge that fact, forgive them, and let go of them and the harm they caused … well, that wasn’t something I could do until recently. So, I hid it away until it landed in my lap like jetsam strewn across a beach.
Today’s Throwback Thursday is for everyone who still “bleeds” once in a while from the horrors that haunt you:
Healing is like the tide.
Issues get washed ashore in small waves,
so we don’t drown in a tidal wave
of pain and sorrow.
Know that you’re not alone and you will not drown in the depths of your past. You survived, walked away, and flourished. Face those memories and emotions when they wash over you and heal what the tide brought forth. Don’t be afraid of them. They’re indicators that you’re ready to take another step away from your past and into your glorious future. Each application of love you apply to those wounds makes you stronger and helps you shine brighter for the people around you who are still suffering ~*~