Category Archives: Writing

Trigger Warnings: What they are (and are NOT)

It’s time we discuss what a trigger warning actually is and why you may want to consider including one in your book description or blurb if you include certain types of incidents in your story. (Spoiler – it has nothing to do with your reader being dictators and everything to do with respecting your audience.)

Trigger Warnings | I Am Rosa

Conversations are cropping up more and more in writing groups where an author ponders if they should include a trigger warning on their book and half a dozen folks jump in with things like:

  • Life doesn’t come with warnings”
  • “Warnings on books are spoilers”
  • “I’m tired of snowflakes wanting to be protected from words in a book!”
  • “They should know to expect [insert terrible thing] when they read [insert genre]”
  • “Bad stuff happens to people every day”

… and my pet peeve; “That’s censorship!”

I’m fed up with authors spouting “life doesn’t come with warning labels” and “trigger warnings are for delicate snowflakes”. Let’s take a look at some of these arguments against trigger warnings.

 

 

Censorship

I  beyond annoyed with authors equating trigger warnings (ie. Warning: Contains violent sex and domestic violence) with censorship (ie. “Remove this content from your book or it will never be published!“). You’d think people who write for a living would know the difference between a request for common courtesy and a dictator seizing control.

Including a trigger warning isn’t censorship.  No one is asking you to remove those parts of the book – which is what censorship is. Most readers assume you added them for a good reason and respect that decision.

 

Genre or “Mature” Notice Should Be Enough

Authors need to understand: Writing in a certain genre or saying there is “Mature” or “Adult” content, does not automatically equal rape and abuse. Most adults don’t mind mature content – sex, language, and even some violence. But a shockingly large number of adults have been brutalized in their past. They have a very real need to know if there is triggering content, such as rape, domestic violence, and child abuse. They must know in advance so they can either watch for it and skip the scene or forego reading your book completely (while feeling positive toward you).

When someone who has been traumatized comes across triggering content unawares, they can have panic or anxiety attacks, and suffer nightmares and flashbacks – for days.

 

You Can See It Coming

I hear so many people saying, “But you can see things that might trigger you coming up”. Most times, yes. But, even if you skip the triggering scene, the character spends the rest of the story dealing with the aftermath of the incident: recall, flashbacks, nightmares, overwhelming emotions, etc. that could trigger your reader and there’s no “lead up” to prepare a person for that.

 

I Have PTSD and Don’t Need Trigger Warnings

Here’s something the psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors often forget to mention:

Trigger topics are a broad paintbrush. There are certain
overlaps and commonalities in types of triggers, but
everyone’s triggers are different.

Just because something doesn’t trigger you doesn’t mean someone else with PTSD from a different cause won’t be triggered. This is also true for people with phobias and other disorders.

 

People Are Just Delicate Snowflakes

Calling a reader is a “snowflake” (or any other slur) because they need a trigger warning is flat-out hostile. Why be a dick to potential clients and reviewers? Remember: Word of Mouth can make or break your reputation.

As someone who requires trigger warnings, I can say with sincerity:

I am not a delicate snowflake. I am a deeply feeling person who was horribly brutalized. I am a determined individual who spent years clawing her way through PTSD to “normal” (or as close as I can get) so I can be a functioning parent, partner, and member of my community.

I tell you from personal experience: It’s hell to have old horrors dragged up from the depths because someone didn’t have the courtesy to warn you about something in a book you were reading for pleasure to escape “Real Life”.

I don’t want to give up reading your books because there “might” be something lurking there to drag me back into the Darkness. I don’t want spoilers or chunks of your work removed. I simply want to know if the “mature content” means

1) Characters having sex and cussing their faces off while shit blows up around them, in which case: Good! I can deal with that. In fact, it will help me process my own emotions and “own my shadow”.

OR

2) The main character is going to be victimized. In this case; Polite pass for my own well-being and the benefit of those who depend on me…. But, I will look for your other works and share a link to your book with people I know who might like this one.

Wouldn’t you like the same courtesy shown to you?

 

So, what is a trigger warning?

A request for trigger warnings is your readers asking that you respect them enough to give a heads up about how dark things are going to get. This can be done without giving details or spoilers.

You are being asked to do this so your reader can make a conscious and informed choice about your story. You are protecting your reader from inadvertent harm; showing them compassion which will garner a favorable opinion of you. They may not read this book, but they’ll be on the lookout for another one by you, because you respected them.

More importantly, trigger warnings gift readers with something precious that was stolen by the people who hurt them: FREE WILL. You are giving others the ability to walk away from an experience that might hurt them.

 

What a Trigger Warning Is

  • A short sentence that gives a concise list of topics (ie. rape, domestic violence, child abuse)  in your book that may trigger your reader into having flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and other negative responses based on something traumatizing that happened to them in the past.
  • A courtesy and sign of respect afforded your readers to give them the option of being alert and skipping parts of your story or passing on your book.

 

What a Trigger Warning Is NOT

  • A detailed description of actions or incidents in your book.
  • A demand for you to remove or rewrite content in your book.
  • A method of controlling you.

 

trigger-warnings-is-and-is-not | I Am Rosa
Since the internet loves images and memes, I made this one for you to share, assuming you agree and would like others to learn more about trigger warnings.

Not sure if your story should have a trigger warning?
Read my follow up article, Should You Include a Trigger Warning?
which list content your readers should be warned about.

The “Socially Acceptable” Villain

The Socially Acceptable Vllian | I Am Rosa

Really good stories have more than one antagonist. There’s your “Big Bad” villain, but real life is filled with lots of “socially acceptable” villains that create drama, pain, and obstacles in your every day life.

What does that look like? Let me illustrate by using the example of a woman we’ll call “Jane” for ease of reference. Jane was sexually abused in her past; her sexual consent was stolen from her. As an adult, she has several boyfriends on the go at once (7 to be exact) and none of the relationships are sexual. The men know that they’re part of her “harem” and are all vying to be #1 boyfriend.

Some of these men have the notion that if he is Jane’s favourite, she will marry him and he would be the only man in her life from that point on. This is not the case. Jane has created a reality for herself where she is in complete control of these relationships. She is now “safe” and “loved”, under no obligation to have sex. Ever. If she marries, that reality will be lost.

Jane is what can be called a “socially acceptable villain”. In her effort to “win” situations from her past, Jane is now controlling people who had nothing to do with the harm done to her. She’s not a “big bad” villain, but the pain she causes is real.

You probably have a socially acceptable antagonist in  your life. These people can seem loving and loyal, but end up destroying your self-esteem in subtle ways. Take a look around and see if you can spot them. Maybe it’s the “friend” who says”I don’t know why X said you look fat in that outfit.” She hurt you, but she’s made X the target.

Is there room in your story for a socially acceptable antagonist?

5 Free Stock Photo Sites

One of the questions I come across frequently is: “Where can I find good stock images for free?”

5-stock-sites-header | I Am Rosa

Whether you’re making inspirational quote memes, marketing images for your book or product, social media cover image, or a book cover, you need quality images. Preferably for free. And, if you’re like me, you need them to be available for commercial use without having to pay huge subscription or licensing fees.

Over the years, I’ve accumulated a huge list that I barely use and 5 that are my go-to sites, because they’re easy to use and usually have what I need.

Public Domain Sites:

 

Royalty Free Sites:

 

Update: Need a bigger variety of stock photos? Check out Rosa’s List of  Stock Photo Sites (pdf here). The list includes no-fee, paying, public domain, and royalty free. Be sure to double-check the licensing terms of each site before using their images.

 

Don’t see your fav on the list? Drop me a link in the comments!!

Bonus

If you don’t have the time  or skill to create your own memes from scratch, Pablo is easy to use and produces gorgeous results.

stock-sites | I Am Rosa

7 Things that Help Me as a Writer

Question: “If you could go back to 7th/8th grade, knowing what you know now about writing, is there anything you wish someone would have told you?”

bookshelf | I Am Rosa

Frankly, if someone told me in junior high that I was going to write for living, I would have laughed at them. Or fainted. Or possibly both. Sure, other students told me my stories were good and I should write them professionally, but – pfft – teenagers and their self-esteem issues … or was that just me?

However, there are some things that have helped me and thank goodness I picked them up along the way! On the off chance they help other authors, I’ll share them here:


1) A strong grasp of proper spelling and grammar. It makes your job a lot easier if you are able to self-edit the basics before you unleash an editor on your work. Plus, editors will love you.

2) “Show, Don’t Tell” was good advice that stuck with me. Instead of telling your reader “John was angry” you can show them by writing, “John’s face flushed and his hands curled into fists”.

3) Acting classes helped. A LOT. Learning about internal dialogue, body language, communicating without words, and thinking like “other people” helps me keep each character unique and believable.

4) Yoda said: Do or Do Not.  There is no try.

do-or-do-not | I Am Rosa

This holds true for writers. You don’t “work your way” to being a writer. You either are or you’re not. There’s no “try” because the second you start to write, you are a writer, so give it your all from the start.

5) Research is your friend.  Write about something you’re interested in, so the research keeps you interested.

6) Writing is like a skilled trade, but without the useful apprenticeship. You have teach yourself from whatever resources, classes, and workshops you can find and afford. Learn all you can about your craft and find what works best for you.

7) Study your genre and practice different styles until you find a voice that fits.  If you write in multiple genres, you may end up with various “voices” since your “Romance Voice” won’t be the same as your “Murder Mystery Voice”, which will vary from your “Horror Voice”, etc.

So, there you have it. Things that have helped me as a writer. I hope they help you, as well 🙂

Beta Reader Team: Assemble!

header-beta-reader-team | I Am Rosa

 (Or, “How I Found My Beta Team”)

 

My latest book, Eyes of the Hunter is currently in the hands of a wonderful team of beta readers. Even though they’re still reading, I’ve already received some very constructive feedback.  I’m thrilled!!

Today, I received this question from a fellow author:

May I ask how you got a team of beta readers? Because when I tried to get people to read my book before it was published no one was interested!

The short answer is:

I do my homework and am picky about who I ask.

The long answer:

I try to approach people who I know have beta read in the past, are interested in the genre of my book, have a good eye for detail, and have given solid feedback (to myself or others) in the past.

 

5 people agreed to beta read Eyes of the Hunter. Here is how I chose each one …

 

Beta Reader 1

This lady actually found me. She’d read a review I was under attack for writing, loved how honest and fair I’d been, and tracked me down on Facebook to ask if I would review her fantasy novel. I agreed, but couldn’t make it through the book. So, instead of writing a review, I asked if I could just give her suggestions on improvements. She agreed. She made the changes. She got picked up by a publisher (I’m not taking credit for that, btw) and has just release the sequel.

We kept in touch. When I see a snippet or article she’s written, I read it and comment. She’s improved. A lot. She’s serious and dedicated, so I continue to support her. And, she also freelances as an editor. So, when it came time to assemble beta readers, I asked if she’d be interested. She said, “Yes.”

 

Beta Reader 2

Amusingly enough, I found this lady exactly the same way Beta Reader 1 found me! She was being attacked by another author for the honest review she wrote on GoodReads in exchange for an ARC. Curious, I read the review. It was actually a very fair review, praising the author’s writing skill, but pointing out there were issues with the story that didn’t sit well with her. She didn’t finish reading, so she marked it DNF (Did Not Finish) to make sure it wouldn’t hurt the author’s rating. I sent her a message, apologizing on behalf of authors who aren’t dicks, and told her that I really liked how honest and fair she’d been. Since I knew from her GoodReads profile that she liked stories similar to Eyes of the Hunter, I asked if she’d be interested in beta reading it and gave a her brief description. She agreed.

 

Beta Reader 3

About a year ago, a lady in one of the Facebook writing groups I’m part of asked if someone could do some artwork for her. I was interested in what she wanted done and offered my services. I really liked her honesty in comments and noticed she always had great suggestions. So, instead of cash payment, I asked if she’d be interested in beta reading for me. I gave her a brief description of Eyes of the Hunter. She liked the story idea and had read some of my other writing, so she felt confident that she’d enjoy this and agreed.

 

Beta Reader 4

This one, I can thank Beta Reader 1 for. She’d talked me up to this gentleman and I apparently made a good impression in the Facebook groups we were part of. We chatted back and forth on Facebook for months. When he found out I was almost ready to hand off Eyes of the Hunter to beta readers, he expressed an interest in reading it. From our conversations, I knew he’s very honest about his opinions and he has a great eye for detail. Even though the story is aimed for YA female readers, I thought a male opinion would be beneficial. So, I asked if he’d go one further and beta read it for me. He said yes and  offered some amazingly helpful insights.

 

Beta Reader 5

I met this lady through – you guessed it – a Facebook writing group. She sent me a friend request after we’d exchanged comments in the group. I had a favourable opinion of her; plainspoken and insightful. I accepted though we never actually chatted after that … until I saw a status update from her one night as I was about to shut down my computer for the night. She seemed to be in distress and I was worried that she was suicidal. Facebook had just implemented its suicide prevention feature, which was totally useless. So, I sent her a message which led to a conversation that lasted several hours (until I felt satisfied that she wasn’t going to do anything harmful to herself). Being writers, we naturally talked about books and writing. I told her a bit about Eyes of the Hunter and it was apparently up her alley of interest. She told me that she beta reads, critiques, and reviews. So, I asked if she’d like to beta read it for me and she said, “yes.”

kapow-1601675_960_720

And, there you have it: My amazing beta team for Eyes of the Hunter <3

Finding quality beta readers is a long process:

  • I observe the feedback a person gives to others and what they contribute to conversations in groups.
  • I build a sincere rapport with them. (Note the word sincere. I care about these people and they care about me.)
  • I find out if beta reading is something they’re interested in and what genres they prefer.
  • When I ask them to beta read, I give them just enough detail about the story to hook them, but not enough to ruin the fun.

Some people I asked were swamped with other projects or felt the story was not quite to their interests. No problem! I’ve asked enough people that a couple of “no’s” still leaves me with a fair size group for feedback. Plus if anyone has something come up where they can’t follow through, I wouldn’t be stranded for feedback.


Want to know what guidelines I give my beta readers?
Read my follow-up article, Beta Reader Checklist for Useful Feedback.